Absence of Being Nina
by Katolina35
Summary: Nina looks at her life through new eyes


The time was nine p.m. The place was Hawaii. Paradise on earth. At least that what the pamphlet said, Nina forlornly thought to herself. She had been here for two and a half weeks. Two weeks and half weeks too long for Nina. At first it was exhilarating to be here in the exotic atmosphere with the luscious fruity breezes and the caress of sun that felt like a river of warmth and spread like chocolate silk into her body and out through her pores. Sure she was worried about Angel but she had anger too comfort her. Who did he think he was sending her off like some kind of medieval self righteous knight in shining armor who was going to take care of all her problems. She didn't know whether to be annoyed or touched. That was the problem with Angel. Whenever she was with him she never knew what to feel. Everything was a new experience. His world was completely new to her and he was her guide to this strange place full of real life demons and not so humble damsels in distress. Angel himself was like no guy she had ever dated. She always felt weird telling him about her day knowing that his was probably spent stopping some crazy cult bent on world denomination or risking life and limb for some helpless person. Nina sighed and looked out her window to the beach below. There was nothing she could do. She had tried calling his cell phone after the first couple of days, but it was not in service anymore. After a week she started to relax and have fun with her sister and niece. While she was here she might as well enjoy it. Plus there were always those parting words that she and Angel had left with to make her mad again and keep her form worrying about him too much. So she sighed and got out her bathing suit from the dryer. "Manda, you ready to go swimming?"

"Auntie Nina look at my drawing." The small and rambunctious young girl skipped up to hand the colorful drawing to her aunt. The drawing was a rough sketch of a sunset over a beach with three people swimming in the surf.

"See that's you and me and mommy and Andy."

"Yeah, I see, you like Andy huh."

"Yep, is he mom's boyfriend?" This last word was held out for five seconds longer than it should have been and it was said with obvious disgust.

"I don't know, hes just a friend of mommy's that just happens to be a guy."

"Are they gonna get married?"

"Its not very probable, lets stop asking so many questions and get your water wings on."

"What does probable mean?" Nina just laughed and let out an exasperated groan.

Nina had just spent the last hour and a half catapulting a growing nine year old around the pool to appease the little mistress. She was beat and went directly to her bedroom to lie down. She took off her leather sandals and slung them over her head at a random direction. By some chance, one of the shoes landed on a precariously tilted purse that fell right onto the phone machine which was connected to the hotel manager downstairs. The phone started to talk and Nina shook the sleep off and sleepily put the phone to her ear.

"Hello"

"Yes"

"You have a message in your mailbox miss"

"What from who?"

"A mister Angel?"

"O...what Ohhh put him on"

"Well no one answered at your room at the time of the call so he left a message" She waited expectantly for his reply and every second seemed like a century.

"He left a message saying that he will attempt to contact you soon." Nina felt like screaming, how could he possibly leave a message like that. He didn't even leave a phone number. She tossed her head form side to side in an attempt to understand but no understanding thoughts come to mind. Sometimes he annoyed the living crap out of her. She raised her arms over her head in mock surrender and collapsed into her bed and forgot about her anger in around two minutes when sleep fell over her like a blanket.

Somewhere something really annoying was ringing. Nina slowly cast her eyes around the room, seeking to destroy whatever it was that dared to disturb her sleep. She was like a beast uncaged as she growled at the source of her torture.

"Stupid phone! Hello!"

"Miss, there is an incoming call for you, would you like to accept?"

"No, I'll just, uh just take a message."

"Of course miss." With that the phone was cast aside with a hateful glance. As soon as she had laid her head back down she screamed.

"Hello, Hello, Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes miss."

"Um sorry that was a misunderstanding I do want to talk to him, or her or who ever it is."

"But miss you said "

I know what I said but, just put him on okay", Nina replied with a snap and then a wistful whine.

"Yes miss". Nina could swear she heard the old manager chuckle softly. She sighed and ran her hand over her face in frustration.

"Hello" Suddenly she could hear his voice and his face sprung into her thoughts. Her Angel, she imagined his face devoid of emotion with a cell phone close to his ear but not too close cause super hearing and a mad girlfriend don't make a happy picture. She laughed involuntarily and she could almost hear Angel frown not understanding this spontaneous outburst.

"Hey" It hung in the air as a prelude of things to come but no one knew what those things that would be.

"So I'm guessing the all destroying danger that you had to protect me from is gone."

Angel replied but his words came out more slowly than the usual slow rate and it sounded as if it were painful just to speak.

"Yeah, it's been taken care of."

"Are you okay" Nina asked very softly with concern in her voice.

"I'll live" was Angel's gruff response. Nina pursued her lips together. She thought about pushing the issue but there would be time for that, plus deep down she knew he probably wouldn't tell her anyway. He just wasn't a sharing person.

"Okay me and Jill can be back by nine tonight."

"Whoa, is your family going to like being jetted all over without a moments notice?" He sighed painful from the rapidity of his own words.

"No, but they'll do it if I ask." She frowned and bit her tongue to keep from asking if he was alright yet once more.

"I don't want to make you and your family leave."

"Angel, I want to leave, I mean this was just to keep us out of danger, now the danger is gone, therefore we come back." She spoke like she was talking to her niece, like this was elementary.

"How about you just broach the subject and see what they feel like doing."

"Angel, are you trying to make sure the money you spent on this trip isn't wasted."

They both relaxed from tension they hadn't even known was there and Angel slightly chuckled, well it was more like half a chuckle but it was enough to make Nina proud. Angel almost never laughed and when Nina was the source of his amusement she felt a strange feeling of delight and she silently patted herself on the back.

"I just think it might be good if you ask them what they want to do. Is it nice up there?"

"Of course it is, its Hawaii, and you should be here, in Hawaii, with me." She said with pointed care on each word.

"I can't, not all the danger is over. There's still some things I have to take care of."

"Okay, well I guess I'll go diplomatic and "broach" the subject" she said with a snort. Then Nina was distracted by a noise that sounded a lot like a Howler Monkey. From the dining room Nina heard her sister calling her frantically.

"Gotta go, Jill needs me, can I call you later."

"Yeah I'll leave my number with the manager."

"Great, bye."

"Bye."

"Angel" There was a pause from the other line.

"Yeah"

"I'm glad you're okay" Another pause from the La side

"Me too." They both smiled softly and hung up.

She slept fitfully that night. In her dreams puppets and Mandy's drawings chased her into a tunnel that was blocked up at the end. She woke and couldn't seem to get back to sleep.

Nina hastily picked up her suitcases and scanned the crowd. Angel was nowhere in sight. At least that's what she thought, as strong hands lifted the heavy suitcases from her grasp. Nina turned with a yelp into Angel. She gave an involuntary gasp and jumped into his arms. He gracefully supported her with one hand and held her belongings in the other. She pressed her lips into his cold ones and kissed him hard. He responded and soon she felt his mouth warming from her body heat. Angel broke the kiss off to smile at her.

"How was your trip?"

Nina laughed, "Oh great just mindless hours of fun with the latest Harry Potter film."

"I take it you're not a Potter fan."

"What can I say, my tastes in movies tend to head toward Oscar material and Daniel Radcliffe isn't quite up to par. Not that he's not good eye-candy in a creepy I like young adolescent boys but am a full grown adult kind of way."

"Nina, is there something you want to tell me?"

Nina laughed and Angel gently placed her back on solid ground. She reached around his waist and let her hand rest on the side of his hard stomach. That was another thing; Angel had a body like no one else. Not that he was perfect, no, that would be boring. He was chock full of nifty little traits like his tattoo and slender waist teamed with wide shoulders that always made her feel small when she was lying on his chest.

"So my family decided to stay for another week and meet me back home."

"I figured." Was Angel's response.

Her hand stayed on his hip as they crossed the threshold of the airport and drove back to the Hyperion. She chatted gaily but couldn't help but notice the slight grimace Angel made every bump they ran over. She looked at him with concern.

"Are you sure you're okay."

"Yeah, just you know, recuperating."

"So how was this big showdown that I couldn't be there for?"

"Well, I, we kinda took on the leaders of Wolfram and Hart."

"So I'm guessing that you are no longer employed there."

"You are correct."

"And I'm also guessing you won."

"10 points for the blond in the front seat." Was his deadpan reply. Only he could make a joke like that in a tone like that. She wanted him to start telling her about what had happened, what was happening, and everything in between. She stared at him waiting for something. He just frowned. She sighed softly, forgetting he had super hearing.  
"What."

"Nothing, its just you get in this big battle and you don't even have even have anything to say to me about it."

He sighed and kept his eyes on the road as he spoke.

"Nina, it was tough, but it's over and I just want to move on." Nina turned away from him to look at the landscape and almost didn't hear Angel's whispered statement.

"Wesley's dead." Nina turned and touched his face caressing his cheek.

"I'm so sorry. Here I was being all … and your going trying to deal. Jeez, "

Angel softly let out a wisp of a chuckle but his mouth barley moved.

"It's okay. I'm okay." That statement seemed to carry so much weight, but Nina wasn't sure what it meant. She didn't know Wesley that well; she didn't even know how close Angel and Wesley were. It was like Angel was talking in code and she didn't know the translation. Her hand trailed across his face and down to his collar where she could just barely see the start of huge scar going down his collar bone. She hastily moved to unbutton his shirt to see but he grunted in painful surprise and swiftly caught her hand up in a vice like grip. His eyes were squinting in pain as he let go of her hand.

"Its okay, just a small wound, but it hurts like the dickens." She nodded and let her hands drop. The rest of the road home consisted of small talk about Jill, Amanda, and the hot waiter she met in Hawaii. Angel didn't seem to mind listening to her. He listened intently, his head tilted towards her and nodded ever now and then, sometimes adding a slight smirk at some of her comments as she blatantly giggled out loud. She thought about trying to turn the radio on but decided not to. They reached his new home or according to him, his old home. It was unmistakably an old hotel long out of use for its first purpose. It still looked welcoming, bright and shining in the night and she could hear noises coming from the building.

"Wow, so you own this."

"Yeah, but when we took over Wolfram we just kind of left it, but I think we all had some kind of feeling we'd be back here some day. Maybe that's why I just couldn't get myself to sell it." Through the glass double doors she saw many people buzzing about. They walked in as a man in a black suit and a no hair walked up to them and proceeded to communicate with Angel in another language that Nina had no inklings what its origins might have been. There were people walking around as well as other species of creatures and it kind of looked like a more relaxed Wolfram and Hart except for the people. The rich people were in short supply here and instead all different nationalities and statuses were loitering and walking around. Some looked like they had come in off the streets complete with green goo drenched weapons. There were even some children and weird tattooed Oriental women clothed in all black sitting at couches in the shadowed corners of the lobby. All around her is pieces of LA that she's never seen. Energy surrounds the room and she is jealous of Angel and this life. He finishes his conversation and the man walks off dismissed and Nina feels herself getting turned on by the way he just quietly ordered the man away. People are looking at Angel and more at her. She feels their eyes watching and sizing her up. Angel quickly navigated them through the hallways, telling her the names of some and exchanging greetings with more. They finally arrive in his bedroom.

"Man, we didn't waste any time in all that crazy dating and foreplay stuff did we." Angel glances up in shock at her comment as understanding dawns."Well, its just that there's really no privacy in this house and unless I'm in here and even sometimes while I'm in here, people always have something…"

"Angel, kidding, no worries." He nods and smiles slightly.

"Angel, are you hurt?" the question hangs in the air and Angel sighs and looks at her defeated.  
"Nina, I'm fine." She looked at Angel with concern.

"Let me see." He could tell there would be no satisfying her until he did. H carefully turned and slowly began to unbutton his silk shirt. It was like some soap opera except without the nice feeling in the gut. Nina wasn't sure what to expect as he pulled the shirt off of his muscled shoulders and dropped it to the floor. There was a large bandage where his pants met his stomach but other than that his back looked perfectly normal. He swiveled around to face her and her eyes widened in alarm. The scar she had seen in the car was not as small as he had said it was. It stretched from his collarbone down diagonally across his chest and stomach just missing the circular tattoo on his left side. She didn't remember him having that but she didn't really care at that moment. The scar was deep, so deep you probably wouldn't call it a scar. It was bright red and looked raw. The skin was pulled taught around the wound. She reverently reached out to run her hand down it but she heard his breathy admission of pain she was coming to know very well.

"I'm gonna be okay, I promise." Nina didn't look so sure of that. She placed her body flush with his and even though Angel had spent years gaining an iron will, he couldn't help feeling the wants that his body was demanding now. He stroked her hair as she tried to figure out what she should say. Should she be anger at him? For what, doing his job? Being the hero she knew him to be? No, she couldn't throw a hissy fit because she couldn't deal. If he had the strength to take a hit like that then she had the guts to take the after effects too. She smiled brightly up at him and ran her hand up his back appreciatively. They leaned in so that their foreheads met an instant before their lips did. She felt his cool tongue start to work magic on her as his lips traveled down her neck. She gasped and started to unzip his pants, very quickly. They both worked to pull them off as Angel's mouth found hers once again. They were kissing and his big hands felt so good just skimming along her skin, rubbing and sweeping across her stomach. He stopped and began to stare at her intently for what seemed to Nina, an eternity. She was finding this very uncomfortable and tried to giggle to cover up her anxiety.

"What?"

"Nothing, just.." Angel seemed at a loss for words as he gave up with a sigh. "I'm glad that wasn't a break up fight back at your school." Soon kissing resumed and she gave herself over to the cool hands that soothed and stroked her warm skin. She felt as if her body was feverishly hot as his hands ran over everything, igniting and cooling, like lava beds settling anew. Nina murmured and thought this was definitely worth the wait. She and Angel occupied each other far into the night until she settled into a deep sleep. At around three in the morning she groggily woke, a tiny bit of jetlag coming into play. She glanced around the slowly but her eyes came to rest on Angel, sitting in the moonlight on the balcony bathed in ethereal setting. He was stretched in a relaxed sitting pose like someone she might have sketched for one of her art classes, across a settee. She looked at him and thought how much he looked like a marble statue carved by the ancient Greeks. He looked cold, hard, and as he sat, his posture betraying nothing to the viewer except that he was strong. It made her shiver to see him languidly seated, as she had never seen him before. She sat in silent rapture wondering who this person was and how she had missed this part of him. She saw the years on him plainly and she felt so small. She felt so stupid for putting on makeup before she came, and spraying herself with perfume, did he care. She's so young and this is so far from her friends and pottery classes, so far.


End file.
